Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
3/18/2009
Ah, Spring!
I love living in the San Francisco Bay area. It's nearly 6pm, and it's 71 degrees and sunny. I have all the doors and windows open to let the fresh air flow through my little house, and I'm sitting in my sunny corner listening to the birds outside discussing who gets to nest where this year. An ice cream truck drove by a few hours ago. I know that the price of such lovely weather is that we'll probably be rationing water this summer, but right now? I'm loving it.
8/31/2007
What part of "Spare the Air" don't you understand?
Here in the SF Bay Area, when the temperature gets (and stays) in triple digits, and the wind goes away, we get smog. Maybe not like LA smog, but bad enough. To try to minimize that, the worst of these days are declared to be "Spare the Air" days.
On Spare the Air days, we are asked to cut down any unnecessary power usage, and especially cut down on driving. Instead, we are encouraged to car pool or take public transit. To encourage this, all the local transit agencies provide free rides. Most of them are free all day on Spare the Air days. A few - like BART and the ferries - offer free rides through 1pm, and charge the regular fare thereafter. They started that this year, because last year a lot of commuters were unable to get on the trains and ferries, because those were full of people who took advantage of the free rides to spend the day playing in SF.
But an odd thing happens, and I notice this on almost every Spare the Air day: traffic is actually worse on those days, and it's mostly solo drivers. I've thought about why this might be, and I've come up with a few possibilities:
On Spare the Air days, we are asked to cut down any unnecessary power usage, and especially cut down on driving. Instead, we are encouraged to car pool or take public transit. To encourage this, all the local transit agencies provide free rides. Most of them are free all day on Spare the Air days. A few - like BART and the ferries - offer free rides through 1pm, and charge the regular fare thereafter. They started that this year, because last year a lot of commuters were unable to get on the trains and ferries, because those were full of people who took advantage of the free rides to spend the day playing in SF.
But an odd thing happens, and I notice this on almost every Spare the Air day: traffic is actually worse on those days, and it's mostly solo drivers. I've thought about why this might be, and I've come up with a few possibilities:
- They didn't find out that it was a Spare the Air day before they left for work
- They didn't feel that transit was sufficiently convenient for them (and maybe it wasn't - we have good transit here, but it's not perfect)
- They figured that everyone else would be car pooling and using transit, so they'd have the roads pretty much to themselves.
I think the last one is the most likely, and I think it's the most common reason for it. The trouble is that when everyone thinks that everyone (or someone) else is doing something, what usually happens is that no-one does it.
I haven't owned a car in over a dozen years; I've managed quite well using transit and the occasional taxi. On most weekdays, I walk to the BART station (about a half mile), take the train to the second station down the line from me, where I catch an express bus that drops me practically on the doorstep of my office. This has removed a major stressor from my life. Instead of spending an hour behind the wheel in traffic being mad about the waste of time, I can spend that hour reading or writing or just staring out the window - whatever, that time is my own to use as I wish. On alternate Fridays, I work at an office that's closer to my home - about 1.5 miles away - so I walk to and from work. Yes, it takes longer than driving, but it's free workout.
Anyway, if you have Spare the Air days where you are, leave your car at home!
7/14/2007
"should be" versus "is"
“Should” is the most stressful word I know. It is the sound of expectations unfulfilled.
“I should be able to handle this.”
“I should be a homeowner at my age.”
“I should be able to support my family on my earnings.”
“I should be cleaning the house right now.”
Unrealistic expectations are one of the biggest sources of stress in our lives, because we get all set up about what should be instead of dealing with what is.
One of the best things we can do for ourselves is to banish “should” from our lexicon. First, think about whose expectations are reflected in those “should”s. Now substitute “want” for “should”. Note that I said “want”, not “need”. If you have a roof over your head and are eating more or less regularly, “need” is pretty well taken care of. Treat anything else as a “want”.
When you put the word “want” in place of the words “need” or “should”, it’s easier to get a useful perspective on it. Who wants it? Do you? How badly do you want it? What does it do? Will a part of it serve, or do you want it all? What can you do to make it happen? This brings your head back to what is, and what you can do to affect it.
It may be that what is really sucks, and it may be that you can’t change it right now. In which case, how important is it, really? Can you get around it? Can you skip it? Is there another way to take care of that want? Can you get help with it?
All we can do is what we can do, and getting wrapped up in what “should be” doesn’t change that. It just gets us upset for no reason. When you hear “should” in your head, give yourself permission to say “Fuck it; I don’t need that”, and go on with your life.
“I should be able to handle this.”
“I should be a homeowner at my age.”
“I should be able to support my family on my earnings.”
“I should be cleaning the house right now.”
Unrealistic expectations are one of the biggest sources of stress in our lives, because we get all set up about what should be instead of dealing with what is.
One of the best things we can do for ourselves is to banish “should” from our lexicon. First, think about whose expectations are reflected in those “should”s. Now substitute “want” for “should”. Note that I said “want”, not “need”. If you have a roof over your head and are eating more or less regularly, “need” is pretty well taken care of. Treat anything else as a “want”.
When you put the word “want” in place of the words “need” or “should”, it’s easier to get a useful perspective on it. Who wants it? Do you? How badly do you want it? What does it do? Will a part of it serve, or do you want it all? What can you do to make it happen? This brings your head back to what is, and what you can do to affect it.
It may be that what is really sucks, and it may be that you can’t change it right now. In which case, how important is it, really? Can you get around it? Can you skip it? Is there another way to take care of that want? Can you get help with it?
All we can do is what we can do, and getting wrapped up in what “should be” doesn’t change that. It just gets us upset for no reason. When you hear “should” in your head, give yourself permission to say “Fuck it; I don’t need that”, and go on with your life.
3/10/2007
Saturday Morning
One of the things that I really love about our new home is Saturday mornings.
To clarify, allow me to describe my morning so far:
I slept in until 8am (which when you get up at 4:30 during the week, is quite late indeed). Honey had made coffee, so all I had to do was go fetch it from the kitchen and bring in the morning paper from the front stoop. Then I brought both paper and coffee back to bed, where I sat for an hour or so with Honey, drinking coffee, reading the paper and watching cartoons.
When I was done with the paper, I made my side of the bed, got dressed, and came out to the corner of the living room that serves as my office, opening doors and windows on the way. The weather is so beautiful today: sunny and mild with just enough breeze to keep the air fresh. I turned on my computer, and poured another cup of coffee while I started checking email.
I thought about turning on the TV to watch the crafty shows that the DVR had recorded during the week. But I realized that the neighborhood is quiet this morning, and I like it. I have birds singing on three sides, and somewhere a woodpecker is at work on a tree. Honey is still in bed, alternating between watching cartoons and sleeping to them.
Although there are things that I should do today - dishes, the household books, and sometime today I have to walk up to the store (I love that I can walk to the store here!) - there is nothing that absolutely requires my attention right now. So I've been able to use this morning as a little vacation, if you will. Taking time for myself, doing nothing more important than check my mail and read other people's blogs.
I love it here!
To clarify, allow me to describe my morning so far:
I slept in until 8am (which when you get up at 4:30 during the week, is quite late indeed). Honey had made coffee, so all I had to do was go fetch it from the kitchen and bring in the morning paper from the front stoop. Then I brought both paper and coffee back to bed, where I sat for an hour or so with Honey, drinking coffee, reading the paper and watching cartoons.
When I was done with the paper, I made my side of the bed, got dressed, and came out to the corner of the living room that serves as my office, opening doors and windows on the way. The weather is so beautiful today: sunny and mild with just enough breeze to keep the air fresh. I turned on my computer, and poured another cup of coffee while I started checking email.
I thought about turning on the TV to watch the crafty shows that the DVR had recorded during the week. But I realized that the neighborhood is quiet this morning, and I like it. I have birds singing on three sides, and somewhere a woodpecker is at work on a tree. Honey is still in bed, alternating between watching cartoons and sleeping to them.
Although there are things that I should do today - dishes, the household books, and sometime today I have to walk up to the store (I love that I can walk to the store here!) - there is nothing that absolutely requires my attention right now. So I've been able to use this morning as a little vacation, if you will. Taking time for myself, doing nothing more important than check my mail and read other people's blogs.
I love it here!
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