3/02/2005

Dead Fish Handshake

I have heard of this phenomenon before, but today I encountered it for the first time. At a work-related luncheon, I was introduced to the head of another department. She seems a nice enough woman, but when she offered her hand to shake, I suddenly found myself holding a hand that was so completely relaxed I was at a loss as to what to do with it. I felt that if I shook it with my usual gentle firmness, I might hurt her. On the other hand, if I held it too loosely, it might just slip out of my hand altogether. I opted simply to hold it gently for a moment, and then let it go, but it was a very weird moment for me.

What do you do with that?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have had that experience a few times, It made me feel like I had beeen too rough and agressive for this delicate person.I felt that the problem was with me.

I know a young man who is quite a goood friend. He likes to give me a hug when we meet. His hugs are kind of gentle, and almost at arms length. I often end up forgetting and give him what feels to me like too agressive too rough squeeze before I realize that this was a bit too much for him. It makes me feel the same as the delicate handshake and like I have been really clumbsy, and overbearing.

I tell myself I need to be more careful with my handshakes and hugs, go at them slowly and make sure I am not overwhelming the person.

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